Game 5: Team Hell

Loss

Score: Team Hell 17, Byrne's Pub 7

Game Summary:
Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa. - Casey Dillon Stengel

How the game would've gone if Spanks did not skip the game to watch Office Space:

As the BPGRC's arrived on the field they could feel the excitement in the air. They knew this was going to be a special night. So when Coach Cubby Bear pulled them over for a pep talk, a hush fell over the team. Cubby Bear whispered, " Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody, " she whispered. "I have been authorized by Mr. Stein-Byrne-r to bribe you with anything possible to pull out a victory tonight. So you just tell me what you need to win this thing. How about 40 subscriptions to Vibe? Anyone want a PC Load letter? Or what if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?

The teamed like the idea of the bribes and they all yelled in unison, "Fuckin' A, man!" and ran out to the field. They were finally motivated, but also slightly confused as to what they'd just agreed too. On his way out to the field, Hussle was overheard whispering to Hammer, "What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?". To which Hammer quietly pondered, "PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean?"

Despite the confusion, the motivation seemed to be working. Everyone was hitting and the BPGRC's were racking up the runs! But as is always the case, the team had one difficult inning and the score was all tied up again. With the defense struggling, Coach Cubby Bear took a trip to the mound. Coach Cubby Bear tried to tell Tummy that he needed to switch up his pitching style if we were gonna win the game. The ump was clearly favoring a low strike zone, and Tummy's high arch pitches just weren't gonna cut it. Tummy was not happy, "No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.“Unfortunately the ump overheard this comment and was none to happy; he slowly strolled out to the mound and glared at Tummy. PYT quickly stepped in to divert attention from the pitcher, yelling at the ump, "Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?" This infuriated the ump and he quickly yelled back, "Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh." Seeing things were quickly getting out of hand, Bubba Kyle sprinted in from left center to diffuse the situation. At first Cubby Bear held him back but he quickly explained that he had training in this specific type of situation. He explained, "I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

After Bubba Kyle calmed everyone down, the game got back on track. But not before Coach Cubby Bear had a quick talking to with the catcher. She instructed Chaser to show the ump a little extra lovin' to get him back on the team's good side. So after a few bad calls resulting in men on in scoring position, Chaser backed up a bit and whispered to the ump in her most sultry voice, "I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'?" And that was all it took, strike 1, strike 2, strike 3. The BPGRCs had kept their opponent from scoring any runs. The score was still tied! Now they just needed one run for victory!

The finally inning started strong for the BPGRCs. And quickly the bases were loaded. With ducks on the pond, the BPGRC's just needed one solid hit to seal the deal. Coach Tree noticed that Tarsh was up to bat. She also realized that statistics show that Tarsh hits down the left field line 9 times out of ten. She knew to really ensure a chance at victory she must take over as third base coach and try and distract the third basemen. Tree decided to consult with Traveling Dan on what the best thing to say to distract the third basemen would be. "Are you a Michael Bolton fan?I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman"." was her first suggestion. To which Traveling Dan immediately replied, "No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man." They quickly brainstormed and decided the best distraction was to talk about the most boring topic imaginable. So Coach Tree got the third baseman's attention and began talking, "You know what I do all day," she began, "I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. You see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably an hour after lunch. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. " And with that, the third basement looked over at Coach Tree with pity and said, "Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements. You deserve this win, I quit." And he walked off the field. Allowing Chaser to get on base and score the winning run!!

BPGRCs win!! BPGRCs win!! That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America!

Unfortunately, Spanks did skip the game to watch Office Space and the BPGRC's were run ruled yet again. But never fear, with only 6 teams in the league, Coach Cubby Bear still has high hopes for a play-off birth.

Inning by Inning:
Inning 1 => -- TH: 0 Runs -- Hammer: 1B, Tarsh: OUT 2 (F6), Bubba Kyle: 1B, Cubby Bear: OUT 2 (F8), Tummy: 1B & 1 RBI, Tree: 1B, Hussle: 1B & 1 RBI, PYT: OUT 3 (F6). SCORE: TH 0, BP 2 Inning 2 => -- TH: 0 Runs -- Traveling Dan: 2B, Chaser: 1B & OUT 2, Hammer: OUT 1 (F8), Tarsh: OUT 3 (F6). SCORE: TH 0, BP 2 Inning 3=> -- TH: 4 Runs -- Bubba Kyle: OUT 1 (F10), Cubby Bear: OUT 2 (F7), Tummy: 2B, Tree: OUT 3 (5-3). SCORE: TH 4, BP 2 Inning 4 => -- TH: 7 Runs -- Hussle: OUT 1 (F8), PYT: OUT 2 (5-3), Traveling Dan: 2B, Chaser: BB, Hammer: 1B & 1 RBI, Tarsh: OUT 3 (F6). SCORE: BP 3, TH 11 Inning 5 => -- TH: 3 Runs -- Bubba Kyle: 2B, Cubby Bear: 1B, Tummy: 1B & 1 RBI, Tree: OUT 1 (F5), Hussle: 1B & 1 RBI, PYT: BB & 1 RBI (OUT 3), Traveling Dan: OUT 2 (SAC) & 1 RBI, Chaser: BB, Hammer: 1B & 1 RBI. SCORE: BP 7, TH 14 Inning 6 => -- TH: 3 Runs -- Tarsh: OUT 1 (F5), Bubba Kyle: 1B, Cubby Bear: OUT 2 (F7), Tummy: OUT 3 (F9) -- RUN RULE -- FINAL SCORE: BP 7, TH 14.

MVP for Game 5: PYT & Chaser
Top Performers
		Batting Average					Slugging %					On Base %
Male		1.000		Traveling Dan			1.500		Traveling Dan			0.750	Bubba Kyle & Hammer & Tummy
Female		1.000		Chaser			1.000		Chaser			1.000	Chaser
		Pizza Count:			3			Beer Count:			11 pitchers
No.	Player	At Bats	Runs	Hits	RBIs	2Bs	3Bs	HRs	BBs	Ks	On Base %	Slugging %	Batting Average
4	Tummy	4	1	3	2	1	0	0	0	0	0.750	1.000	0.750
7	Hussle	3	1	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	0.667	0.667	0.667
11	Traveling Dan	2	1	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.667	1.500	1.000
14	Cubby Bear	4	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.250	0.250	0.250
15	Chaser	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	2	0	1.000	1.000	1.000
16	Tarsh	4	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
24	Bubba Kyle	4	2	3	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.750	1.000	0.750
25	Hammer	4	1	3	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.750	0.750	0.750
26	PYT	2	0	0	1	0	0	0	1	0	0.333	0.000	0.000
34	Tree	3	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.333	0.333	0.333

Game 4: Team Hell

Loss

Score: Byrne's Pub 4, Team Hell 14

Game Summary:
Baseball fans are junkies, and their heroin is the statistic. ~Robert S. Wieder

We lost.... boo.

Inning by Inning:
Inning 1 => Bubba Kyle: 1B, Tarsh: 1B, Hammer: 1B & 1RBI, Tree: OUT 1 (FC), Tummy OUT 2 (FC) & 1RBI, Cubby Bear: 2B & 1RBI, Hussle: OUT 3 (F1) -- TH: 6 Runs -- SCORE: BP 3, TH 6 Inning 2 => PYT: OUT 1 (K), Spanks: OUT 2 (F6), Chaser: OUT 3 -- TH: 5 Runs -- SCORE: BP 3, TH 11 Inning 3=> Bubba Kyle: 2B, Tarsh: 1B (OUT 1), Hammer: 1B & 1RBI, Tree: OUT 2 (F5), Tummy: OUT 3 (F8) -- TH: 1 Runs-- SCORE: BP 4, TH 12 Inning 4 => Cubby Bear: OUT 1 (F7), Hussle: 1B, PYT: OUT 2 (F6), Spanks: OUT 3 (K) -- TH: 2 Runs-- SCORE: BP 4, TH 14 Inning 5 => Chaser: OUT 1 (F4), Bubba Kyle: OUT 2 (F9), Tarsh: 1B, Hammer: OUT 3 (F9) -- RUN RULE -- FINAL SCORE: BP 4, TH 14.

MVP for Game 4: None
Top Performers
		Batting Average					Slugging %					On Base %
Male		0.667		Bubba Kyle & Hammer			1.000		Bubba Kyle			0.667	Bubba Kyle & Hammer
Female		1.000		Tarsh			1.000		Tarsh & Cubby Bear			1.000	Tarsh
		Pizza Count:			4			Beer Count:			12 pitchers
No.	Player	At Bats	Runs	Hits	RBIs	2Bs	3Bs	HRs	BBs	Ks	On Base %	Slugging %	Batting Average
4	Tummy	2	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
7	Hussle	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.500	0.500	0.500
11	Traveling Dan	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
14	Cubby Bear	2	0	1	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.500	1.000	5.000
15	Chaser	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
16	Tarsh	3	0	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	1.000	1.000	1.000
24	Bubba Kyle	3	2	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.667	1.000	0.667
25	Hammer	3	1	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	0.667	0.667	0.667
26	PYT	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0.000	0.000	0.000
34	Tree	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
68	Spanks	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0.000	0.000	0.000

Game 3: Joe Dubya's

WIN!!

Score: Joe Dubya's 9, Byrne's Pub 10

Game Summary:
What difference does the uniform make? You don't hit with it." ~Yogi Berra

After a stern talking to from their owner Mr. Stein-Byrne-r, who threatened pay cuts and popcorn rations if play did not improve, the BPGRC's took the field extremely focused in their match up against the new team on the block, Joe Dubya's. The BPGRC's started out tough with a quick three up three down inning. And after that first solid half inning, while they were running off the field, the ump yelled, "Game Over, Byrnes Pub Wins!" It was the quickest win in history!! But the BPGRC's didn't like the feeling of a win they didn't really earn. They didn't want their first victory of the season to come by forfeit, so with the Joe Dubya promise of a 9th player arriving at any minute, Coach Cubby Bear made the hard decision to allow the game to continue even if it meant possibly throwing their first win away.

Luckily, the Pubbers came out swinging in the first inning with the first three batters getting on base and eventually scoring (after some great acrobatics by Tummy). So far the decision to play was looking like a good one. The Pub was up 3 runs! But with the ump calling a strike zone the size of a shoe box, both pitchers were bound to struggle and three runs was just not gonna cut it.

So it was no surprise that just as quickly as the BPGRC's gained the lead they lost it, with a quick 6 run inning highlighted by a grand slam for Joe Dubya, their lead was gone. Humbled a bit, the team quickly rallied to push three more runs in and tie up the score. And then it happened. The worst call ever made by an ump, and the most unethical and flagrant lying ever witnessed by a manager. Since Joe Dubyas was playing a man down, every time the 10th batting slot was encountered they would be forced to give up an automatic out. With Joe Dubya's last out in the 4th inning being made by their 9th position batter, the BPGRC's were able to breathe a little easier at the start of the 5th inning knowing they were starting with the automatic out. Instead of that happening, the manager of Joe Dubya convinced the ump that the automatic out was already used in the previous inning. With no way to sway the ump in our direction (we definitely could've used Slavenator's power of persuasion) the team was forced to get four outs that inning. And unfortunately for the BPGRC's between the 3rd and 4th out Joe Dubya's scored 3 more runs.

Going into the bottom of the 7th, the BPGRC's led by 1 run. The team needed to hold strong and play tough defense to wrap up their first win of the season. And to really test their talent, fate had it so that the grand slam hitter was up to bat to try and tie the game. With an ENORMOUS hit he had Tree running wildly deeper and deeper into right center. Back and back she ran to the shouts of "Home run! Home run! Just touch all the bases on the way in" being yelled from the Joe Dubya sidelines. Farther back she ran when finally, with the ball just in reach, she came up with the catch and made a huge out and created a huge momentum swing for the BPGRC's! Nothing could stop them now, and despite all the fiascos of the night, the good guys finally pulled out the victory!! With their nice new jerseys and their two out-of-town fans cheering them on, the BPGRC's tacked up their first win of the season!

Inning by Inning:
Inning 1 => -- JWs: 0 Runs -- Bubba Kyle: 1B, Tarsh: BB, Tummy: 2B & 2RBIs, Tree: OUT 1, Spanks: OUT 2 & 1 RBI, Cubby Bear: BB, Hussle: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 0, BP 3 Inning 2 => -- JWs: 6 Runs -- PYT: OUT 1, Harmie: OUT 2, Chaser: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 6, BP 3 Inning 3=> -- JWs: 0 Runs-- Bubba Kyle: BB, Tarsh: 2B & 1 RBI, Tummy: 2B & 1 RBI, Tree: OUT 1, Spanks: 1B, Cubby Bear: OUT 2, Hussle: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 6, BP 6 Inning 4 => -- JWs: 3 Runs-- PYT: BB, Harmie: 1B, Chaser: OUT 1 (FC), Bubba Kyle: BB & 1 RBI, Tarsh: BB, Tummy: 1B & 2 RBIs, Tree: OUT 2 (FC), Spanks: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 9, BP 10 Inning 5 => -- JWs: 0 Runs -- Cubby Bear: OUT 1 (F7), Hussle: OUT 2, PYT: 1B, Harmie: 1B, Red: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 9, BP 10 Inning 6 => -- JWs: 0 Runs -- Bubba Kyle: OUT 1, Tarsh: OUT 2, Tummy: OUT 3. SCORE: JWs 9, BP 10 Inning 7 => -- JWs: 0 Runs -- FINAL SCORE: JWs 9, BP 10.

MVP for Game 3: Tarsh & Tree
Top Performers
		Batting Average					Slugging %					On Base %
Male		0.750		Tummy			1.250		Tummy			0.750	Tummy & Bubba Kyle
Female		0.500		Tarsh & PYT			1.000		Tarsh			0.750	Tarsh
		Pizza Count:			3			Beer Count:			20 pitchers
No.	Player	At Bats	Runs	Hits	RBIs	2Bs	3Bs	HRs	BBs	Ks	On Base %	Slugging %	Batting Average
4	Tummy	4	2	3	5	2	0	0	0	0	0.750	1.250	0.750
7	Hussle	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
14	Cubby Bear	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0.333	0.000	0.000
15	Chaser	3	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
16	Tarsh	2	3	1	1	1	0	0	2	0	0.750	1.000	0.500
17	Harmie	3	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.333	0.333	0.333
24	Bubba Kyle	2	3	1	1	0	0	0	2	0	0.750	1.000	0.500
26	PYT	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	0.667	0.500	0.500
34	Tree	3	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
68	Spanks	3	0	1	2	0	0	0	0	0	0.333	0.333	0.333

Game 2: Varsity Club Lollygaggers

Loss

Score: Varsity Club Lollygaggers 18, Byrne's Pub 9

Game Summary:
There ought to be some other means of reckoning quality in this the best and loveliest of games; the scoreboard is an ass. ~Neville Cardus, A Fourth Innings with Cardus, 1981

Hot off their disappointing first game the BPGRC's came out with new found spunk in Game 2. Pitted up against one of their ultimate rivals, the Lollygaggers, the BPGRC's new they would have a tough game ahead. And after the first inning, the score remained tight and the BPGRC's felt like their luck was turning around. Unfortunately this glimmer of hope only lasted a few moments as the Lollygaggers bats were on fire in inning 2. Unable to muster up much offense of their own, the score quickly got out of control and the umpire had to inform the BPGRC's about the 3rd and 4th inning run rules (Article 17b of the ASA bylaws states: If one team leads the other by 15 or more runs upon completion of the 3rd or 4th inning the game shall immediately end and the team leading at that point in time shall be the winner.)

After the talking to, and allowing the opponent 14 runs in 3 innings, the BPGRC's stepped up their defense and only allowed 4 more runs over the next four innings. But in order to really make it a game, the BPGRC desperately needed to find some offense. Luckily in the bottom of the fourth, the BPGRC's started to find their batting groove and racked up 4 runs. The team had survived the 3rd and 4th without a run rule humiliation, but once again the umpire wandered over to the bench to explain the run rules for the 5th and 6th innings. (Article 17c of the ASA bylaws states: If one team leads the other by 10 or more runs upon completion of the 5th or 6th inning the game shall immediately end and the team leading at that point in time shall be the winner.)

Down 17 to 3 in the bottom of the 5th, the BPGRC's knew that the key to their survival was 5 runs. Starting the inning off strong, Hussle knocked out a great double and got the energy pumping on the bench. Up next, PYT showed amazing restraint and was awarded a walk for her patience at the plate. Hammer followed up with a single to knock in Hussle, and put the BPGRC's four runs away from their goal. Tree stepped up to the plate and advanced the runners but also racked up the first out of the inning. Bubba Kyle, Cubby Bear and Tummy all got on base with singles, with Bubba Kyle knocking in one run and Tummy knocking in two more. With Cubby Bear on second and Tummy on first, the BPGRC now needed just one more run to avoid the run rule. Tarsh strolled up to the plate and had a solid hit, but unfortunately caused a force out on third. The team now only had one last batter before the automatic out would squash their hopes of avoiding run rule humiliation. With runners on first (Tarsh) and second (Tummy), all the pressure was on Spanks to get a solid hit and allow Tummy time to score. Ball one, strike one.. the pressure was mounting! The Lollygagging pitcher floated one in and Spanks hit a solid line drive into the gap!! Tummy got the legs pumping and never quit running until he was home. Tummy scored!! BPGRC avoided the run rule!

Unfortunately the excitement peaked in the 5th inning, with each team only scoring one more run each in the last two innings making the final score Varsity Club Lollygaggers 18, Byrne's Pub 9. Despite the final score, the BPGRC's really came together in the last few innings and things seem to be looking up for next week's game.

Inning by Inning:
Inning 1 => -- VCL: 3 Runs -- PYT: OUT 1, Hammer: 1B, Tree: OUT 2 (FC), Bubba Kyle: OUT 3. SCORE: VCL 3, BP 0 Inning 2 => -- VCL: 9 Runs-- Cubby Bear: OUT 1, Tummy: 1B, Tarsh: OUT 2 (FC), Spanks: OUT 3 (FC). SCORE: VCL 12, BP 0 Inning 3=> -- VCL: 2 Runs-- AUTOMATIC OUT, Harmie: OUT 2, PYT: OUT 3. SCORE: VCL 14, BP 0 Inning 4 => -- VCL: 0 Runs-- Hammer: 1B, Tree: BB, Bubba Kyle: 1B & 1 RBI, Cubby Bear: BB, Tummy: 1B & 2 RBIs, Tarsh: OUT 1 (FC), Spanks: OUT 2, AUTOMATIC OUT. SCORE: VCL 14, BP 3 Inning 5 => -- VCL: 3 Runs -- Hussle: 2B, PYT: BB, Hammer: 1B & 1 RBI, Tree: OUT 1 (FC), Bubba Kyle: 1B & 1 RBI, Cubby Bear: 1B, Tummy: 1B & 2 RBIs, Tarsh: OUT 2 (FC), Spanks: 1B & 1 RBI, AUTOMATIC OUT. SCORE: VCL 17, BP 8 Inning 6 => -- VCL: 0 Runs -- Hussle: 1B, PYT: OUT 1 (FC), Hammer: OUT 2 (FC), Tree: BB, Bubba Kyle: OUT 3 (FC). SCORE: VCL 17, BP 8 Inning 7 => -- VCL: 1 Run -- Cubby Bear: 2B, Tummy: 1B, Tarsh: OUT 1 (FC) & 1 RBI, Spanks: OUT 2, AUTOMATIC OUT. FINAL SCORE: VCL 18, BP 9.

MVP for Game 2: ??
Top Performers
		Batting Average					Slugging %					On Base %
Male		1.000		Hussle & Tummy			1.500		Hussle			1.000	Hussle & Tummy
Female		0.667		Cubby Bear			1.000		Cubby Bear			0.750	Cubby Bear
		Pizza Count:			2			Beer Count:			14 pitchers
No.	Player	At Bats	Runs	Hits	RBIs	2Bs	3Bs	HRs	BBs	Ks	On Base %	Slugging %	Batting Average
4	Tummy	4	1	4	4	0	0	0	0	0	1.000	1.000	1.000
7	Hussle	2	1	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	1.000	1.500	1.000
14	Cubby Bear	3	1	2	0	1	0	0	1	0	0.750	1.000	0.667
16	Tarsh	3	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
17	Harmie	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0.000	0.000	0.000
24	Bubba Kyle	4	2	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	0.500	0.500	0.500
25	Hammer	4	2	3	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.750	0.750	0.750
26	PYT	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0.250	0.000	0.000
34	Tree	2	2	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0.500	0.000	0.000
68	Spanks	4	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0.250	0.250	0.250